i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
