fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
