Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
