If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
