the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Your penis caused this!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
