yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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