I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
How's work?
Spinning.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
