i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
