shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
