I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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