Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
