just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
