Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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