so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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