people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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