is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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