So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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