i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
