she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
40s are totally the cure
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I need to align my fucking chakras
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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