Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize