The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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