The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
