Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The best revenge is premature balding
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
