don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
barbara walters just said penis...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
