Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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