she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
