A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize