Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
