he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
