Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
