I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
