i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
