I hate all girls vehemently.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
