i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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