Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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