if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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