My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
third nipple confirmed
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
