Sry I called you an 8
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize