some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
