there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
