yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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