I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
