She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
