so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
