I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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