never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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