i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
