Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
