the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
