Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
