i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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