Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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