But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
