I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
third nipple confirmed
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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