just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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