i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
