normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
